Cultural Information - Conversations

Question:

I am meeting someone for the first time and I want to make a good impression. What would be good discussion topics?

Local Perspective:

It all depends on the context of the contact. If it is a business meeting, focus on business; if it is a social meeting, focus on family. Similar to what is done here in Canada, one can always start with comments about the weather, then listen and go from there. E.g., In a business meeting, start with the weather or the drive, and the road condition, then asks how is work. It is a good way for you to start doing your assessment. When discussing the family, you will make your Chinese partners feel very special when you make a point to ask about their children, (e.g., how old they are, what do they do, etc.). They are very proud of their children. If suitable, also ask about the health of their parents. Taking care of one’s parents is a priority in the Chinese culture. Although you may have heard that Chinese people are very shy, they do not maintain eye contact, they do not have firm handshake, and they do not show their emotion, etc., you may have different findings in your experiences. The Chinese society is changing, especially with the newer generation. Be flexible in your approach, ... listen and respond according. One thing that never changes is to the need to show your RESPECT when you communicate with your Chinese partners (especially the elders)—I do not mean traditional bowing and kneeling, etc. If you are not sure, always ask your questions before you act on any assumptions. Subjects to avoid would be sex, family planning, female reproductive health issues, and mental health problems. These are considered as taboos and very personal and are not for discussion in public. Use humour wisely and appropriately. Your Chinese partners do appreciate humour and jokes if they understand them.

Canadian Perspective:

China is the third largest country in the world (Canada being the second-largest), and it is often the case that people working in a particular city aren’t born and raised in that city. So a good topic of conversation for a first meeting would be "What part of China are you from?" The "hometown" is often a topic of pride and it’s also an important way for a non-local to understand the diversity and interests of people from China. Depending on the non-local’s work relation to the person being asked, work is a good discussion topic. If the non-local is working in a position of authority (i.e., a foreign manager or colleague) don’t expect direct answers about the organization under discussion. On the other hand, China has undergone incredible social and economic changes in the past two decades, changes that elicit much general discussion and interest. The family is a very important social unit in China. However, it’s better not to ask a question like "Are you married?" since marital status can be somewhat sensitive for the person being asked (although there is a good chance you will be asked such a question, and in that case asking such a question would be no problem). A general question like "Do you have family in this city?" might be more appropriate for a first meeting. Food is a good topic of discussion.. Like the topic "hometown," China has very varied and rich culinary traditions including hometown and regional variations. Politics should be avoided on a first meeting. There are many sensitive political issues in China best avoided on a first meeting. Political, like cultural perspectives, take some time to get used to. Humour is important and much appreciated in China. For a non-local in China, misunderstandings abound, and there is plenty of cause for self-effacing anecdotes that highlight the sometimes awkward position of a newly arrived foreigner.