What makes a good expat? What makes a moral expat? What makes a flourishing, or well-functioning one?
My own ideas are most relevant to Asia. Out here, if you want to be a good expat don’t try to recreate the Home Counties in the tropics. Learn the local language - something, to my shame, I have thus far failed to do, though I constantly intend to take Mandarin lessons. Be flexible. Keep an open mind about all the people and cultures that you encounter.
Don’t exploit your privileged position. Expat life can be a gravy train, especially for those on corporate packages. I’m not complaining since I’ve benefitted, but if you’re an expat, don’t focus solely on exploiting the financial possibilities. If your attitude is: I’m here to make as much money as possible in as short a time as possible, and then to move on, so I can claim another corporate package in a new posting, then, to my mind, you’re a less than flourishing expat.
Certainly don’t exploit the local people - in particular, just say no to exploitative sexual opportunities. Expats are generally rich, by local standards, and it’s no news that out here money buys sex in ways far more obvious, open and flagrant than is usually the case in the West. If you’re an expat male in an Asian fleshpot, don’t avail yourself of every economically disadvantaged babe who comes your way just because you can; likewise if you’re an expat housewife who has the chance to seduce your driver, then don’t take it. And if you absolutely can't help yourself and do exert your economic pulling power, then don’t moan when you get fleeced by one of Asia’s myriad Love Entrepreneurs, from the bar girls of Thailand, to the gigolos of Bali.
None of this is original, is it? Keep an open mind; avoid excessive money-grubbing; and recognize the humanity of everybody you meet are scarcely startling prescriptions for a good life, either expat or otherwise. Sadly, however, my views are quite possibly regarded by other expats as not only trite, but priggish.
When I asked her what made a good expat she said, “Don’t ask me!” I then shared with her my own earnest thoughts on the matter. “Liar!” She joked, “You know a willingness to assume you’re entitled is what makes a good expat. Take advantage! Stride into a hotel lobby; drop your car keys at the valet parking desk and demand free parking, even though you’ve no intention of using the hotel’s services. Enjoy the fact you know the local staff will never challenge you!” Very funny. But as my friend pointed out, “I was brought up an expat. I don’t need the politically correct bragging rights of new expats. In truth I hate what I call ‘ugly expats’, and I cringe at blunderingly insensitive new arrivals.”
Dr Massimiliano Colla is another ultimate expat: he is Italian, and he met his Polish wife in Australia. A physicist, he teaches at The National University Of Singapore, where he regularly fields students’ questions about, for example, the connections between geometric expressions of chaos, and chaos itself. So I thought my current question would be easy for him. “What makes a good expat in one place might not be what makes him a good expat in another place.” He told me. “A good expat in Singapore must be able to understand social relationships and structures different from those in the west, where people rely on the state for so much. In Singapore, everything is about family, and informal networks. You must be able to understand that if you live here. Anywhere you live, you must get accustomed to local ways of life, and local morality.”
That’s enough of expat voices. What do locals think? My Singaporean friend Lin Han Yin is a property agent who helps new arrivals find houses to rent. What does she think makes a good expat? “An expat who comes to Singapore, of course! Not to Hong Kong, or somewhere else! Expats have to spend in the local economy. They bring in money - more and more are staying put and laying down roots by buying property, which supports the market. If they set up businesses they can bring jobs. They have expertise to share, and Singaporeans can learn from them.” And expats, I’d add, can likewise learn from Singaporeans.
In any city, if you want an insight into what locals think, it’s always worth asking a taxi driver. So I asked Kang Hak Khiam, who happened to have me in his cab recently, for his opinion; he too focused on business and prosperity. “A good expat is one that contributes to the economy, brings the company (he works for) to greater heights, and blends into the place of where he or she is staying.”
Finally, I asked another sort of expat entirely: not a well-paid, well-educated professional, but a migrant worker. Throughout Asia, most expat families have an amah (maid). Amahs flock to wealthy Singapore from the region’s much poorer economies. Milba is a Filipina working for an American family here. "The work is easy as long as you are willing to do it," she says, in her slightly broken English. "The way you communicate is easy. The way you treat us is friendly. The way you treat us is more friendly, that you never look us down. The way you treat us is a human thing that is, like, even." A good expat grants equal rights to amahs? Quite.
Dr Massimiliano Colla is another ultimate expat: he is Italian, and he met his Polish wife in Australia. A physicist, he teaches at The National University Of Singapore, where he regularly fields students’ questions about, for example, the connections between geometric expressions of chaos, and chaos itself. So I thought my current question would be easy for him. “What makes a good expat in one place might not be what makes him a good expat in another place.” He told me. “A good expat in Singapore must be able to understand social relationships and structures different from those in the west, where people rely on the state for so much. In Singapore, everything is about family, and informal networks. You must be able to understand that if you live here. Anywhere you live, you must get accustomed to local ways of life, and local morality.”
That’s enough of expat voices. What do locals think? My Singaporean friend Lin Han Yin is a property agent who helps new arrivals find houses to rent. What does she think makes a good expat? “An expat who comes to Singapore, of course! Not to Hong Kong, or somewhere else! Expats have to spend in the local economy. They bring in money - more and more are staying put and laying down roots by buying property, which supports the market. If they set up businesses they can bring jobs. They have expertise to share, and Singaporeans can learn from them.” And expats, I’d add, can likewise learn from Singaporeans.
In any city, if you want an insight into what locals think, it’s always worth asking a taxi driver. So I asked Kang Hak Khiam, who happened to have me in his cab recently, for his opinion; he too focused on business and prosperity. “A good expat is one that contributes to the economy, brings the company (he works for) to greater heights, and blends into the place of where he or she is staying.”
Finally, I asked another sort of expat entirely: not a well-paid, well-educated professional, but a migrant worker. Throughout Asia, most expat families have an amah (maid). Amahs flock to wealthy Singapore from the region’s much poorer economies. Milba is a Filipina working for an American family here. "The work is easy as long as you are willing to do it," she says, in her slightly broken English. "The way you communicate is easy. The way you treat us is friendly. The way you treat us is more friendly, that you never look us down. The way you treat us is a human thing that is, like, even." A good expat grants equal rights to amahs? Quite.
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